I hesitated to post this for some time because parenting style is very much like religion and politics — everyone has a deeply ingrained idea about it, and we hate to be wrong. But I’d like to think there really isn’t one “right” way. It’s about whatever works. So if your kid isn’t potty trained as a toddler, whatevs, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. But if you want to potty train your infant, know that you can do it, and it’s fantastic.
The Momo Sling was added to my baby-wearing toolset earlier this year. J, my sis-in-law had gifted us a ring sling that she made, and I loved how easy it is to use, but I was having trouble with tugging the heavy canvas fabric through the rings. So I set out and tried to find the Honeywear Baby Bee sling, a pouch sling with adjustable tabs and cinches rather than rings. But it seems like Honeywear is now defunct and the company I tried to purchase it from graciously allowed me to purchase another item at a discount. So I chose the Momo in black (which doesn’t seem to be available anymore, wow!).
The fabric is a heavy-duty canvas, and the top and bottom rails are padded in the middle stretch, I’m guessing so that they don’t bite into soft baby knees when they’re snuggling in facing you. The silk accent trim is actually quite gorgeous and my picture doesn’t do it justice. When R was littler, he was greatly fascinated by the patterns.
At first, I had even more trouble wearing this sling than the one made by J. Because of my small torso, I had to pull the padded bits through the rings when trying to get a snug fit. R fussed whenever I tried to put him in, whether facing in or out, because I was being so clumsy with it. But I kept trying, and I found some tricks that make it easier, and some things that weren’t intuitively obvious to me (mostly because I’m clumsy/spacially stupid).
I was chatting with a few other mums when I lamented that I did not know how to value my time anymore. When asked, I could not describe to people what being a mother entails. I can tell you how it makes me feel — excited, content, frustrated, exhausted, scared, joyful — but one mum, C, a successful writer and jewellery designer/maker, was able to dissect motherhood into its constituent pieces, listed below. Not all mums do these, but everyone in our group do, because we’re good mums.
Substitute “mum” with “dad” or “primary caregiver” as you see fit. I’m writing this from the point of view of a new mum.
In broad terms, I am all of these:
The completeness of the last entry was a small lie since I did omit some details to keep the post readable. Here are some more notable things, plus some notes I made immediately postpartum.
Before the birth, I was afraid. Not so much of the actual labour and birth itself, but the change it will bring to our lives. Have we lived enough childless years? We’ve barely been married. Will I be less of a wife, will M be less of a husband because we will have to share each other with another little being?
I was also angry. Why did I want a child? What was I thinking? I don’t want him. But at the same time I was doubly angry with myself for having these thoughts. Why didn’t I think through this earlier? It’s too late and I’m ruining our lives.
For The Paper Mama’s self portrait challenge.
Woo! A quick post. I am currently:
Why R is often fussing while nursing. I think it’s a combination of him noticing the world and being distracted, me not understanding his cues when he’s really hungry or really tired (both involve fussing and sucking on his hand), and just new motherhood uncertainty.
A pixie hat for my niece, some blog posts, watching a Chinese soap (Tang Lang Detective), trying to get some yoga into my routine while R sleeps. A bit scattered-brained, which I’m also working on.